Disconnecting

Disconnect ... connect ... disconnect again ... re connect ... seen as a circle of life.
I try to understand life.
But ... it's probably an illusory desire.
Most probably ... the real truth is that i want to know how can i totally disconnect from all what means negativity.
Totally disconnect from .... unhappiness ... and all what makes me feel ... depressed.
.... my anger, my frustrations, my envy, my jealousy, my .... all this large spectrum of negative feelings and emotions.
And ... i keep meditating.
I keep ... exploring.
I pretend i want to know what this universe is ... but all i want is to find out how i can be happy ... or at least eliminate this sadness from my soul.
And more i analyse... more i feel that it is all about ... disconnecting.
Cause .... yes ... i can't stop being angry if i don't disconnect from the reasons why ... i am angry.
I can't stop myself be jealous ... if i don't disconnect from the reasons why i am jealous.
I can't stop myself ... envy someone ... if i don't totally disconnect from that person.
I can't stop being furious ... if I don't disconnect from the reasons why i am furious.
But ... i am too illogical to be able to stop being dominated by ... sadness.
Yes ... too illogical.
I could simple keep in mind those ideas ... and the moment when i feel any negative vibe ... try to understand right away why i feel that ... and what i have to disconnect from.
It is simple.
But ... maybe too simple for an idiot as myself.
Fortunately ... being my own therapist ... I continue this charade of pretending i am sort of a philosopher or psychologist … trying in find to find out the reasons of my unhappiness.
And ... i keep analysing.
More ... and more ...
The funny thing is that ... today ... i trend to believe that a beautiful life is a lot related on the ability of being disconnected ... from negativity.
Cause ... life itself is beautiful.
So ... maybe i should become more conscious ... on the stage of life.
Feel better ... the energies ... and be more selective ...