Ejaculate Responsibly
A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion
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4.5 • 20 Ratings
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- $9.99
Publisher Description
THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
In Ejaculate Responsibly, Gabrielle Blair offers a provocative reframing of the abortion issue in post-Roe America.
In a series of 28 brief arguments, Blair deftly makes the case for moving the abortion debate away from controlling and legislating women’s bodies and instead directs the focus on men’s lack of accountability in preventing unwanted pregnancies.
Highly readable, accessible, funny, and unflinching, Blair builds her argument by walking readers through the basics of fertility (men are 50 times more fertile than women), the unfair burden placed on women when it comes to preventing pregnancy (90% of the birth control market is for women), the wrongheaded stigmas around birth control for men (condoms make sex less pleasurable, vasectomies are scary and emasculating), and the counterintuitive reality that men, who are fertile 100% of the time, take little to no responsibility for preventing pregnancy.
The result is a compelling and convincing case for placing the responsibility—and burden—of preventing unwanted pregnancies away from women and onto men.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this witty and cogent account, parenting blogger Blair (Design Mom) aims to "change the discourse" around abortion by pointing out that "99 percent of abortions are the result of unwanted pregnancies, and men cause all unwanted pregnancies." In her 28-point argument for why the focus should shift from women's bodies to men's responsibilities, Blair notes that women produce fertile eggs for 24 hours per month, while men's sperm is fertile "every single second of every single day"; that condoms are more available, easier to use, and have fewer side effects than hormonal birth control; and that women in the U.S. feel societal pressure to prioritize a man's pleasure over their own safety and autonomy. Blair also argues that pregnancy is not a "risk-free adventure" (700 to 900 women die from pregnancy and childbirth-related causes in the U.S. each year) and that adoption is not an easy alternative to abortion. Her plan for "stopping irresponsible ejaculations" includes destigmatizing condom use and vasectomies, fact-based sex ed, and "holding politicians accountable" for supporting policies that reduce unwanted pregnancies. Flashes of acerbic humor and eye-opening statistics bolster Blair's common-sense case. This polemic has the power to change minds.
Customer Reviews
Thank you!
Such an eye opener as to how we are all conditioned to hold women responsible for birth control while men, not so much. Even though they are literally fertile every minute of every day. I so appreciate the call to responsibility of one’s sperm.
Generally Good Concepts, Some Flaws
I agree with the overall thrust of the book (that responsibility must be taught to those capable of impregnating their partners), but I would have preferred an exploration of the topic that was less surface level.
For example, the author says she believes vasectomies will one day become so easily reversible that they will be offered to those seeking temporary birth control. This seems unlikely, given less invasive and fully reversible birth control options in development (e.g., “Plan A”).
I was also surprised when the author suggested keeping a box of condoms in one’s glovebox (among other places). Given condoms are sensitive to temperature extremes, this seems like unsound advice that the book’s editor or fact checker probably should have caught.
I didn’t approve of the author describing sperm as dangerous and comparing those carrying it to someone with a blood-borne disease who must ensure no one else is exposed to it if they get a cut. That kind of pathologization stepped over the line for me. We can teach responsibility without stigmatization.
Finally, while I understand the reasoning behind the author’s choice to use gender-binary language, that can come off as reductive and exclusionary.
So, overall, a quick read with a worthy main theme and generally good ideas, but light on the research and with some problematic elements that can go.
Eye Opening
Extremely eye opening and it’s sad to think all these topics are already known and dealt with by women