Finding the love of your life and holding onto that relationship is more difficult than ever. The problem hasn't gone unnoticed. From relationship therapists to speed-dating, self-help books to online matchmaking, an entire industry has developed to help us navigate the bumpy road of relationships. Yet in spite of the availability of all these resources, many of us still struggle to discover and keep the love of our lives. That is, until now.
This groundbreaking book from the frontiers of psychology offers startling new research about the one missing factor that is vital to relationships—forgiveness. A national bestselling author and leading expert on forgiveness, Dr. Fred Luskin shows that no matter how much two people may love each other, their relationship will not succeed unless they practice forgiveness—an approach that most relationship experts continue to ignore.
Why is forgiveness an essential tool for relationships? Studies reveal that 70 percent for what we argue about at the beginning of our relationships will never be fully resolved. In other words, our basic needs and behaviors don't change over time. The issues are endless: the socks that always end up on the floor, how often to have sex, the ESPN obsession, working hours, and, of course, friends and family. Without forgiveness, these issues, however big or small, too easily turn into relationship-eroding grudges.
Forgive for Love is the solution for your relationship woes, providing the tools you need to find and hold onto the love of your life. Dr. Luskin delivers a proven seven-step program for creating and maintaining loving and lasting relationships, teaching easy-to-learn forgiveness skills that will not only resolve immediate conflicts but improve the overall happiness and longevity of your relationships. Simply put: people in healthy relationships figure out how to forgive their partners for being themselves. They do so because it is nearly impossible to change other people and because none of us are perfect. Forgiveness is the key, and Forgive for Love has the answers.
Luskin (Forgive for Good) approaches the matter of couples' harmony by pinpointing forgiveness as the secret to a relationship's longevity. He defines forgiveness as letting go of anger and despair when your partner doesn't do what you want, yet in one example he does suggest ending a totally unsatisfactory relationship. Still, Luskin's steps toward full forgiveness eventually begin to make a lot of sense once the author reminds readers that they made the choice to be with the person they're with, and that their partner is flawed and so are they. Luskin's advice and case histories draw heavily on his own studies at the Stanford Forgiveness Project, which he directs. But since his notion of forgiveness includes such steps as acceptance of a partner's imperfections, recognizing the love he or she gives and committing to the relationship, forgiveness seems like a catch-all term for the same advice many other relationship experts offer.