From The Sideline

I now find myself facing a couple of hard boys, a couple of suits, a very worried looking boy in a rumpled suit and an ass hole named Jonny Kellor.
The suit, who appears to be in charge, says, “Mr. James Gann, you are causing us a lot of trouble and that’s going to stop.”
I say “I’m James Gann, most call me Jim Gann. I’m unaware that I’m causing you trouble, or why you think that I’m causing you trouble.”
The suit says, “Mr. Gann, you checked out thirteen documents, government classified documents, from your West Coast employer.”
I say, “I checked out a lot more than just thirteen government classified documents, from my West Coast employer. I also checked back in the government classified documents that I checked out. Jonny Kellor accused me of checking out thirteen specific government classified documents, and not checking back in the thirteen specific government classified documents. I didn’t check out the thirteen specific government classified documents and I also didn’t check back in the thirteen specific government classified documents, that I never checked out.”
Jonny Kellor snarls, “He’s lying! He checked out thirteen specific government classified documents, and didn’t check back in the thirteen specific government classified documents.”
The suit nods to one of the hard boys.
The hard boy gets up, walks over to Jonny Kellor and slaps Johnny in the face. It sounds like a pistol shot. Jonny falls out of his chair and sprawls on the floor. The hard boy walks over to Jonny Kellor, picks him up, with no visible effort, and sits Jonny back on a chair.
The suit says, “Mr. Gann, can you prove that you didn’t check out the thirteen specific government classified documents and then you also didn’t check back in the thirteen specific government classified documents, that you say that you never checked out.”
I say, “Yes I can. If I want to check out a government classified document, I have to have three things. I have to be at the Library, I have to have a suitable government security clearance and I also have to have a need to know. If I deal with Jenny, the Librarian, Jenny knows that I’m cleared because she has dealt with me before and she hasn’t received a notice that my security clearance has been suspended or revoked. I have a request sheet, from a Project Manager for a specific document title. Jenny will then fetch me the specific document title or perhaps call the Project Manager to inform the PM that there’s a later update for the specific document title. In any case, I don’t get a document unless I have a need to know. I didn’t check out the thirteen specific government classified documents, because I was out of town when the documents were checked out or the documents involved ships. I worked on aircraft, not ships.”
The suit says, “Mr. Gann, you claim that you can prove that you didn’t check out the thirteen specific government classified documents. Jonny Kellor claims that you did check out the thirteen specific government classified documents and then you also didn’t check back in the thirteen specific government classified documents, that you say that you never checked out. Then what happens?”
I say, “The government then calls in Jenny, the Librarian. a few Project Managers and gets the same story that I told. The government then investigates Jonny Kellor. I presume that the government investigation of Jonny Kellor is your concern.”
The suit then asks rumpled suit guy, “Is what Mr. Gann just told me what would happen?”
Rumpled suit guy says, “Yes, what Mr. Gann told you is very likely what would happen?”
The suit then asks rumpled suit guy, “What if Jonny Kellor can’t be found?”
Rumpled suit guy says, “The government would then investigation Jonny Kellor’s records, damn sure.”
The suit says, “Mr. Gann, this meeting never happened.”
I say, “Some guys came to my door, but they had the wrong address, so they just turned around and left.”