Strangers
A Memoir of Marriage
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4.6 • 329 Ratings
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Burden’s searing, probing memoir explores . . . what she learned about intimacy and her own spirit.”—People
“A beautifully written instant classic. Strangers is gripping and heartbreaking and a must-read for every wife—and husband.”—Graydon Carter
“Asks us to examine life’s most perplexing questions: Can we see the invisible fault lines in a marriage or truly know the people closest to us?”—Lori Gottlieb
It was a great love story, one for the ages. The speed of our beginning and the speed of our ending felt like matching bookends. They both came out of nowhere. He wanted it, he wanted me. And then he didn’t.
In March 2020, Belle Burden was safe and secure with her family at their house on Martha’s Vineyard, navigating the early days of the pandemic together—building fires in the late afternoons, drinking whisky sours, making roast chicken. Then, with no warning or explanation, her husband of twenty years announced that he was leaving her. Overnight, her caring, steady partner became a man she hardly recognized. He exited his life with her like an actor shrugging off a costume.
In Strangers, Burden revisits her marriage, searching for clues that her husband was not who she always thought he was. As she examines her relationship through a new lens, she reckons with her own family history and the lessons she intuited about how a woman is expected to behave in the face of betrayal. Through all of it, she is transformed. The discreet, compliant woman she once was—someone nicknamed “Belle the Good”—gives way to someone braver, someone determined to use her voice.
With unflinching honesty and profound grace, Burden charts a path through heartbreak to show the power of a woman who refuses to give up on love. Strangers is a stunning, deeply moving, compulsively readable memoir heralding the arrival of a thrilling new literary talent.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
This is one of the most emotionally intimate memoirs we’ve read in ages. A week into the 2020 pandemic shutdowns, Belle Burden and her husband, James, were quarantining with their three children when a voicemail turned her world upside down. The caller was another woman’s husband, informing Belle that their spouses were having an affair—and his wife had just attempted suicide. Within days, Belle’s husband of two decades walked out on their family without remorse or explanation. She tells the story of her despair and eventual rebuilding without self-pity, even as she recounts her husband’s shocking coldness (which included rejecting even partial custody of their kids). We were moved by Belle’s devotion to her children and fascinated by her unflinching examination of a marriage she’d thought she understood. Expanded from a viral 2023 New York Times Modern Love column, Strangers is a powerful memoir about heartbreak and self-discovery.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Immigration lawyer Burden traces the exhilarating start and excruciating dissolution of her two-decade marriage in this bruising debut. Dividing the narrative into five acts, Burden recounts how, during the Covid pandemic, her husband of 20 years abruptly walked out on her and their three children without explanation. After he left, Burden desperately searched for answers, blaming herself and relitigating their idyllic courtship, looking for signs of his unhappiness in his occasional coldness and passing moments of rigidity. As her husband's communication grew less frequent and he refused to see their children, she came to accept that she may have never truly known him. Then he initiated vicious divorce proceedings, transforming from "a benign stranger wandering out of my life" to "an adversary, determined to win." After the divorce was finalized, Burden published a "Modern Love" essay in the New York Times, breaking an emotional dam within her and allowing her to finally move on from her recursive cycle of self-blame. With unsparing emotional clarity, Burden examines the often-baffling ways relationships can fall apart, and charts a path for people looking to reassemble their own lives. It's a gut punch.
Customer Reviews
Beautiful
I loved reading this. So beautiful, vivid, and honestly written.
Strangers
I enjoy a good memoir. Strangers was especially interesting to me because it told me what it would be like to be very wealthy. The lifestyle of rich, highly accomplished people. In this story friends and socialization are at the center, along with family life. We read about the ways one defining event can fundamentally change a person. I believe if you can just hang on,and never give up,something good is waiting for you in your future.
Thank you Belle
Thank you Belle for being brave and writing your story. I too had something very similar happen and I’m not brave enough to write about it ! I’m still afraid I will lose what little I have been given. Men hold all the power when one chooses to be a stay at home Mother. Men stick together and women will talk about you behind your back about why he left.
The part of your husband that is so telling about who he is … what a selfish selfish man for not wanting shared custody, vacations, weekend sleep overs with his children. He’s so narcissistic he doesn’t see the impact of that decision on his children , what a terrible thing for them !
I don’t understand why any woman in his future would want to be with him - good luck to them if they do, they will need it!