If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now
True Stories from Calabasas
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4.0 • 2 Ratings
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
Soon to be the Netflix Series "Calabasas" — from Kim Kardashian, Marlene King, and Emma Roberts
"An unfiltered, thoughtful, and witty insider’s perspective on the suburb that birthed the Kardashian-Jenners and the Bling Ring.” ―The Daily Beast
If You Lived Here You'd Be Famous by Now is an insider’s collection of funny and warmhearted stories about coming of age in the Los Angeles suburb famed for birthing the Kardashian-Jenners and the Bling Ring
For Via Bleidner, transferring to Calabasas High from the private Catholic school she’s attended since second grade is a culture shock, not to mention absolutely lonely. Suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world of celebrities, affluenza, and McMansions, Via takes a page from Cameron Crowe and pretends she’s on a journalism assignment, taking notes on her classmates and jotting down bits of overheard gossip.
Getting through high school in Calabasas is something else—from Kim Kardashian endorsing the students’ favorite hidden lunch spot, to the theater program hiring a famous dog to play Elle Woods' Chihuahua in its production of Legally Blonde, and Kanye trying to take control of your school to make it the very first YEEZY institution.
But instead of floating through high school detached from her peers, Via finds that putting herself out there—for her writing, of course—just might have been exactly what she needed. She unexpectedly finds an eclectic group of friends to call her own, including a multi-multi-millionaire, a wild-card throwback intent on going viral, a former Disney actor, and a doughnut-dealing madman.
With wit, candor, and sharp observations, twenty-one-year-old Via grounds the surreal glamour of Calabasas with reflections on her own coming-of-age, sharing her teenage misadventures as she struggles to fit in, faces crushing social pressure, and eventually makes her own way.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this colorful debut, Bleidner recounts growing up in the L.A. suburb of Calabasas in the late 2010s, where the thrills include making unauthorized visits to the Kardashians' mansions. After transferring from Catholic middle school to Calabasas High for the theater classes, Bleidner began recording the social foibles of her privileged milieu, making for an evocative snapshot of young lives lived mostly online with the occasional beaming back down to Earth. Physical reality, in the author's life, meant mourning the breakup of boy bands, smelling mango Juul vape, driving through a cemetery, eating strip mall salads, and worrying about how many carbs she had at breakfast. Timeless observations about the "whole Southern California shtick" abound: despite the prevalence of CBD-therapy oil, skincare treatments, and endless Grubhub orders, there's still a vast sense of emptiness. "To live in LA is to experience a unique sort of isolation," writes Bleidner. While the frequent cultural references (the ubiquity of lip injections, Brandy Melville shirts, and American Apparel tennis skirts) may slide past older readers, the switched-on social set will find this full of charm. Readers will be eager to see where Bleidner goes next.
