"David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically. Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying." -- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion
"Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."
--Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep
"That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero
"JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason: it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once. This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as "soy sauce," a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong's and his penis-obsessed friend John's minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clich s of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.
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I haven't read a lot of horror, but from what I have read there is little that actually scared me. This did. It revitalizes the Lovecraftion tradition, just with a lot more dick jokes.
I honestly didn't know that this was a horror book until I saw the trailer for the movie, and it mentioned being a film adaptation of the horror book. In retrospect however, the book is completely horrifying. Since I read it, every time I see something move out of the corner of my eye, or think I see a shadow shift in an unnatural way, it's all I can do not to poop myself. And my distant but very detailed memories of living in Japan with my black girlfriend, even though I've never even been to Japan, are now extremely troubling, as are all the Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty games. I suddenly feel as though I see the subtle horrors of Korrok's hand in this world, and that the shadow people KNOW that I know, and that I'm in danger for being privy to this information. READ THIS BOOK. You will not be disappointed. If you are, you can punch me in the balls, Fred Durst-style.