Self Defense Against Vampires
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5.0 • 4 Ratings
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- $4.99
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- $4.99
Publisher Description
Could you kill your wife to save her soul?
Trust me, it's a bigger problem than you might realise.
But fear not, that's what this book is for. For what you have here is the ultimate guide to fending off vampires, and where it's too late, taking the plunge and displaying the ultimate show of affection — hint: it involves a mallet and stake!
Indeed, all over the world, vampires are stepping out from the shadows, shattering lives and leaving a trail of mysterious disappearances or horrifying transformations in their wake. People are now being forced to accept the terrifying truth that these creatures are real and on the hunt. So what will you do the night you get that unwanted knock on your front door?
That's where I come in. A renowned survivalist and folklore expert, I unveil the secrets of these immortal predators. From their supernatural strengths to their deadly weaknesses. In short, this book will equip you with the knowledge and tools to fight back. For in a world where the night belongs to the undead, survival is no longer a matter of luck — it’s a hard-earned skill.
Here's a short summary of what you will learn:
- Identify a vampire before it’s too late.
- Create improvised weapons from everyday household objects.
- Navigate the psychological warfare of the undead.
- Protect your home and loved ones from unwanted, rude nocturnal visitations.
Packed with chilling anecdotes, practical strategies, and step-by-step instructions, Self-Defense Against Vampires is more than a survival manual — it’s a lifeline. Whether you’re a skeptic or a believer, this book will make you question what you thought you knew about the night.
So, as darkness descends, will you be ready?
Reviews from other stores:
"...a great book for vampire lovers and aspiring vampire hunters... There are so many great elements of this book... this was one of the best books I've read this year." (fangfreakintasticreviews.com)
"Don't take this book too seriously.... It comes recommended by one Harker, J, who says it offers: "practical, sincere and damned effective advice, I would hate to be a vampire knowing this book is out there! You can stake your life on it!" (murdermayhemandmore.WordPress.com)
"...a very interesting concept. It's a fictional novel that reads as a possible textbook or self-help book. It skilfully takes jabs at popular vampire romance (the Twilight series especially) and pokes fun at individuals who may have contemplated becoming a vampire..." (Amazon)
"...such a fun read. Written by the World Famous Vampire Hunter, Dr J.A. Kahn, this book serves as a witty, dare I say cheeky, encyclopaedia of everything you will ever need to know about vampires..." (Amazon)
"Witty and humorous, Self-Defense Against Vampires, is definitely the most fascinating take on the vampire myth that I have read. This fictional narrative is written as a self-help book for people in the event that they may need to battle a vampire..." (Kayla Krantz - author of Dead by Morning series)
“Sarcastic, rude, full-on in-your-face, and great fun.” (H.K.).
Customer Reviews
Very Interesting
This book is very intense and to the point. Whether you believe vampires exist or are a legend this book is most fascinating. It is not a story or a tale; it is possibly the most comprehensive guide regarding the history and mystery of vampires and how to defend your self if the need arises. I have no formed opinion as to their existence guess I am kind of on the fence about it, but I have seen no clear evidence either way, so yes it is possible. I have encountered some bizarre people and truly wondered if they were vampires or if they were simply strong actors. I found this book to be powerful and enlightening and must confess I am more curious about what could happen. The author did an amazing job putting this all together and I respect his courage for stepping up and taking a stand. It is written well and easy to read and there is a wealth of interesting facts and ideas about vampires and could even save your life if it comes to pass as predicted. I recommend it to all who enjoy a book with a difference.
Clever, humorous guide to understanding and defending against vampires
J A Kahn has created the end all be all guide to vampires, and more importantly, how to kill them. With tongue in cheek wit our renowned and unmatched World Famous Killer Extraordinaire title holder (every year since 1995) takes you by the hand and guides you through the ins and outs of defending yourself against vampires by teaching you how to separate fact from fiction, myth from reality, and more importantly, admit that glitter is simply the name of a bad Mariah Carey movie and not, as some would have you think, the epidermal adornment of your future prom date.
Though written with an eye to humor, I found this surprisingly accurate with regards to vampire lore. Kahn introduces you to vampires under names few are familiar with, such as the Strigoi, the Upyr, the Leyak, and more. He shatters romantic literature's insistence that all things fang trace back to Romania and takes you further back to ancient Mesopotamia and Egypt instead. Vampire biology is covered in detail, as well as strengths and weaknesses, all things you'll need to know if you intend to survive possible encounters. Lastly he teaches you the moves you'll need to perfect in order to take it down before it drinks you dry. Overall a great read, very cleverly written and entertaining, and a must read for armchair slayers everywhere.
Fasinating
This great guide was filled with entertaining and fascinating info about vampires and is essential material to know if you want to become an expert vampire slayer. This guide covers their history and different ways to spot and kill them. Overall I found this book to be really well written with a plethora of important knowledge on everything vampire. If you're a vampire enthusiast like me you will absolutely enjoy this book.