“Taking Sexy Back is going directly on my top list of recommended sexuality readings.”
—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs
It is time for a new sexual revolution. It’s time to take sexy back.
As women, we’re expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary.
From relationship expert Alexandra Solomon—author of Loving Bravely—Taking Sexy Back is a groundbreaking guide to deepening your connection to yourself, honoring your desires, and cultivating authentic intimate connections. On these pages, you’ll discover how to deepen your sexual self-awareness, and use that awareness to create experiences that not only pleasure, but elevate, expand, and heal you. You’ll learn to understand your boundaries, communicate what feels good, and bring mindfulness and self-compassion to sex. Most importantly, you’ll embrace your sexuality as an evolving, essential, and beautiful part of your life.
Sex is about more than what your partner enjoys or finds sexy. It’s about more than having an orgasm or finding the “right” positions. It’s about you. It’s time to take your sexy back!
Named one of Cosmopolitan's Best Nonfiction Books of 2020!
2020 Consumer Book Honorable Mention from The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
As featured on The Morning Show—Australia's top-rated morning program
Psychologist Solomon (Loving Bravely) empowers and enlightens in this manual that encourages women to accept and control their sexuality. Dividing her lessons into three sections "Preparing for the Journey," "The Journey to Sexual Self-Awareness," and "Your Sexy Is Here to Stay" Solomon packs valuable advice, touching on such topics as giving consent, hookups, and self-compassion. Quoting Maya Angelou "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better" she counsels women to reexamine their long-held beliefs about sex and relationships, inviting them to understand that some of those beliefs religious hang-ups and self-judgment among them are damaging. Like a wise older sister or a trusted friend, Solomon illustrates how to move from fear to love with meditations, creative writing ("write an erotic short story"), and mental exercises (ask, "at which point in the day do you feel most connected to Your Sexy"). She also tackles the topic of sexual traumas and the poison they inject into relationships, and encourages experimentation and sexual fantasies as tools to learn one's own sexuality. "Joyful sex rests on risk, self-compassion, and trust," she writes. Solomon proves to be a savvy, empathetic voice in this educational and inspiring guide.