The Clash Inside Me

THE CLASH INSIDE ME opens with a young man perched on a ledge and contemplating an unusual predicament: did he or did he not commit murder? And if he did, which of his alter-personalities will ultimately be held responsible?

The young man, who remains nameless throughout the tale, recounts the story of his life and the diagnosis of his mental illness –dissociative identity disorder – with refreshing candor. Speaking directly to the reader, he describes his personal history in a manner that is both relatable and engaging. Despite the obvious disadvantages of coping with multiple personalities, he is not a victim of his circumstances. He is a survivor with expectations of a bright future, including a tender romance. There are moments of fear and anguish, but his is not a story of despair; rather it is a tale of ongoing courage to define oneself while coping with a serious mental illness.

His ability to manage the alter egos is put to the ultimate test when he witnesses a drug deal gone wrong and one of his personalities seeks immediate revenge. Observing his handling of the alters in the aftermath provides an utterly unique view of a baffling condition. And just when we believe that we have a true understanding of the situation, a devious reveal in the final chapter leaves the reader questioning the veracity of all that has come before. An open-ended conclusion allows the reader to complete the tale for themselves.

The inspiration for this book is to promote awareness and treatment of mental health, bullying, and emotional depression in young adults. Having watched a dear one struggle, John encourages young people to SPEAK OUT and SEEK HELP. The stigma around these illnesses is lifting, and help is readily available. Do not be silent any longer.