The Way We Never Were
American Families and the Nostalgia Trap
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3.8 • 13 Ratings
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- $15.99
Publisher Description
The classic, myth-shattering history of the American family.
“The Way We Never Were effectively demolishes the normal, traditional nuclear family as neither normal nor traditional, and not even nuclear.” ―Nation
Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man’s home has never been his castle, the “male breadwinner marriage” is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were, acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues, and neither does any other era from our cultural past. Coontz explores how the clash between growing gender equality and rising economic inequality is reshaping family life, marriage, and male-female relationships in our modern era.
Now more relevant than ever, The Way We Never Were is a potent corrective to dangerous nostalgia for an American tradition that never really existed.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
The golden age of the American family never existed, asserts Coontz ( The Social Origns of Private Life ) in a wonderfully perceptive, myth-debunking report. The ``Leave It to Beaver'' ideal of breadwinner father, full-time homemaker mother and dependent children was a fiction of the 1950s, she shows. Real families of that period were rife with conflict, repression and anxiety, frequently poor and much less idyllic than many assume; teen pregnancy rates in the '50s were higher than today. Further, Coontz contends, the nuclear family was elevated to a central source of personal satisfaction only in the late 19th century, thereby weakening people's community ties and sense of civic obligation. Coontz disputes the idea that children can be raised properly only in traditional families. Viewing modern domestic problems as symptoms of a much larger socioeconomic crisis, she demonstrates that no single type of household has ever protected Americans from social disruption or poverty. An important contribution to the current debate on family values.
Customer Reviews
Excellent Look At American Family Reality
I found this book to be eye opening. If ever a reality check was needed it’s now. As a country we aspire to be the all American family. The problem is, with a modest look into the not so distant past shows that the American family wasn’t what we think it was. Sure, some families were the stereotypical Leave It To Beaver clans but most were not even close to that dream. Find out just how normal your family actually has been and is. This book backs up the reality of the American family and will leave you validated like no other book can. Extremely educational and highly recommended.
Misguided
Poorly written book distorting history and distorting todays reality where psychotherapy, loneliness, family dysfunction, divorce, infidelity are the rule rather than the exception