Why Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You: A Paranoid Pet Owner’s Manual

Welcome to the shadowy world where your cat's cuddle might just be a reconnaissance mission. Here, each purr is suspect, every gift a warning, and the innocent act of sleeping on your keyboard? A strategic move in the silent battle for dominance. This isn't just another day in your cozy, cat-dominated household—it's an insight into the cunning mind behind those whiskers.

Discover the art of survival in a land where being ignored is a power play, and affection could be the prelude to an assassination attempt. With a blend of dark humor and unnerving accuracy, navigate the minefield of feline companionship where every adorable trait masks a calculated strategy for household control.

Arm yourself with the knowledge to decipher the murder stares and midnight zoomies of your fluffy overlord. It's a world where paranoia meets reality, and love for your pet comes with a side of suspicion. Dive into the darkly humorous life of cohabitation with the cutest of predators, and remember: it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you.