Broken

Shattered.
Destroyed.
Ruined.

That's what I did.
I took everything that we had, and crushed it all,
Destroying Garrett in the process.

I can't take it back,
Can't fix it,
Can't deny it. 

But yet, I try,
I try to drown out the pain with alcohol,
Numb the agony with mindless, loveless sex.
Nothing works, because I may have ruined us,
But I'm the one who's shattered.

Like a dream or quite possibly a nightmare,
Garrett walked back into my life.

And now, I'm torn,
Torn between what I want,
The man I've always loved,
And what I think I deserve.

But am I too broken to have the future I've always wanted?