Supercommunicators
How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
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4.3 • 94 Ratings
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of The Power of Habit, a fascinating exploration of what makes conversations work—and how we can all learn to be supercommunicators at work and in life
“A winning combination of stories, studies, and guidance that might well transform the worst communicators you know into some of the best.”—Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Hidden Potential
ONE OF NPR’S BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR • FINALIST FOR THE SABEW BEST IN BUSINESS BOOK AWARD
Come inside a jury room as one juror leads a starkly divided room to consensus. Join a young CIA officer as he recruits a reluctant foreign agent. And sit with an accomplished surgeon as he tries, and fails, to convince yet another cancer patient to opt for the less risky course of treatment. In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg blends deep research and his trademark storytelling skills to show how we can all learn to identify and leverage the hidden layers that lurk beneath every conversation.
Communication is a superpower and the best communicators understand that whenever we speak, we’re actually participating in one of three conversations: practical (What’s this really about?), emotional (How do we feel?), and social (Who are we?). If you don’t know what kind of conversation you’re having, you’re unlikely to connect.
Supercommunicators know the importance of recognizing—and then matching—each kind of conversation, and how to hear the complex emotions, subtle negotiations, and deeply held beliefs that color so much of what we say and how we listen. Our experiences, our values, our emotional lives—and how we see ourselves, and others—shape every discussion, from who will pick up the kids to how we want to be treated at work. In this book, you will learn why some people are able to make themselves heard, and to hear others, so clearly.
With his storytelling that takes us from the writers’ room of The Big Bang Theory to the couches of leading marriage counselors, Duhigg shows readers how to recognize these three conversations—and teaches us the tips and skills we need to navigate them more successfully.
In the end, he delivers a simple but powerful lesson: With the right tools, we can connect with anyone.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
When it comes to conversation, some people just know. They know how to listen, how to build connections, and even how to get bigger groups of people talking. These are the supercommunicators. Drawing on research from university studies and even the CIA, Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Charles Duhigg explains that when it comes to effective, fulfilling interactions, you absolutely, positively must identify what each participant wants out of the conversation. We were amazed to learn what a difference it makes when you commit to this principle, even if it means continually looping back and rephrasing until everyone is on the same page. Duhigg admits to his own difficulties communicating at times and his natural curiosity on the subject shines through. Whether you’re striving to be heard at work or want to be on better terms with your family, Supercommunicators is a blueprint for finding common ground.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Pulitzer winner Duhigg (The Power of Habit) contends in this savvy guide that "we can learn to connect in more meaningful ways if we can understand how conversations work." According to Duhigg, so-called supercommunicators more easily build trust, persuade others, and form friendships because they've honed such skills as "matching" (recognizing the kind of conversation they're having, whether it's about making a decisions, conveying emotions, or forming a bond) and "looping" (repeating what one's interlocutor has said in one's own words). Drawing on social experiments, neurological studies, and examples of how CIA agents recruit informants and doctors review treatment options with patients, Duhigg provides wise advice for bonding with friends, fighting with partners, and bridging divides over such lightning-rod issues as gun control. (In moments of conflict, readers should show they're listening—rather than silently preparing a rebuttal—by asking questions, summarizing the other person's views, and asking for confirmation; this helps people feel safe enough to receive someone else's opinions and share their own.) In lucid prose, Duhigg breaks conversation down to its fundamentals, providing both an actionable guide and a revealing peek into the psychological needs and motivations that underpin human interaction. It's a smart, revelatory look at the complex ways in which humans conflict and connect.
Customer Reviews
Miscommunication
I think the principles of the book were fine but the need to use polarizing politicized nonsense to try and illustrate it was a mistake. Trying to absorb the principles that the author is trying to communicate through the noise of misguided ignorant opinions makes it tough to focus on what you can learn from the book.