What if there is a You that has never seen the light of day, has never got to say, “Hey, what about me?”
What if there is a You that you have never even met and certainly never permitted to just be, without fear of judgment or condemnation?
What if you live your life on the sidelines in constant fear of failing to please those who forever seem to stand in judgment of you and your life?
What if you discovered that you had settled for what life has served up instead of what you really wanted and needed?
What if you really think and feel things you have never allowed to come out, and certainly never acted on?
What if your marriage is not at all what you really emotionally want and need, but you silently stay the course anyway, selling out your hope to be happy?
What if you are allowing days to turn into weeks and weeks to turn into months and months to turn into years, all adding up to a lifetime of being what some nameless, faceless world has assigned you to be?
If any of these “What ifs” are true in your life, then we need to talk, and through these pages, we will. First, I have some bad news, and I have some good news. The bad news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance; the good news is you are making the choices that have put you in this life circumstance. Now is the time to make the biggest choice of your life. Through Self Matters, I will help you do just that.
—Dr. Phil McGraw
The well-known"life strategist" and TV personality Dr. Phil begins this upbeat self-help book by recalling one of the most unpleasant phone calls he ever had to make. In 1989, ten years into a flourishing career, McGraw called his father to say that, despite the outward trappings of success, he was miserable. His new plan was to move away and start a new career and a new life. According to McGraw, many people are currently in a similar situation--trapped in unsatisfying lives or jobs that they loathe. Too many people, says McGraw, are"so busy being busy, that they have let the colors fade from their lives." They're worried about superficial matters rather than what's important:"I'll bet 90-plus percent of them spent months, or even years, planning their wedding and almost no time planning their marriage!" To change their lives, McGraw's readers must first complete two questionnaires he designed to assess their"authentic self" and their"congruency" (how someone's current life compares with a vision of an ideal life). With the scores from these tests, readers can then embark upon a specific plan for changing their lives--and for determining which external and internal forces they will, or won't, allow to control their futures. Readers familiar with McGraw's aggressive TV personality may be surprised by this book's thoughtful and serious tone. McGraw's notion of making change is not a simple one--it requires readers to examine every aspect of their daily lives--and it's likely that some readers may not be able to make all the changes he advocates. But his book offers a thorough, realistic resource for those who are committed to turning their lives around to get what they really want and need.